|
Date : Friday, June 04, 2010
Time : 12:41 PM 5 July 2010 , Saturday
Here i am blogging again , it's been months i didnt blog. I was very lazy to blog and I always felt very tired after work. But sometimes is not i dont wish to blog , is because I got nothing to blog about! Nothing really special is happening in my life for all this months , all I did was work , go home and sleep!!! And for all my offdays all i did was to stay at home and sleep. I always have Insomnia every night and I just cant get to bed early. And although nothing really special is happening in my life but all this while it was a peace month until this month!! It wasnt very good this month. Many unhappy things happened to me! Always getting scolding from my parents , being hate from my second sister and being betrayed from my friend!!! Why is all this things happening to me?! Why cant everything be just peace and happy? Maybe I was in the wrong and maybe i wasnt changing but all of you dont know how hard did I try to change every single things that all of you dislike about me!!!! I know I cant blame any of you for not noticing that I did tried to change because you people see no changes in me yet. Thats why i understand and im not blaming anyone for that. Recently , I just found out that i got friend that betrayed and always complaining about me. Seriously what have i done wrong? Why am i always having those "XIAO REN" beside me? I know not all friends are good but im trying to find good friends that i can talk too , someone that I can trust. I seriously hate two headed snake friends!!! Infront always treating you like an angle but at the back they are talking shit about you. Thats what I hate most and of cos im not doing this kind of bitchy & sluty things behind my friends back. Anw I will be quiting POA end of this month , I dont wish to work in this kind of low pay and CMI Company!!! But in another point , I dislike changing job too. Its not that easy to find a good pay and a good job at the same time. Oh but ........... Im lucky enough to have a chance to interview in Prada. I will be having interview on the next coming friday , im excited but at the same time im scared. Three days back , I just got a very serious scolding from my mom. I dont know what she wanted but she all of the sudden went into my room to checked. I know my room was in a very serious mess and my things were every where , my cupbored were filled with clothes and it was totally in a mess too. Thats why my mom called me up and started screaming at me. she was screaming soooooo loudly that i thought she's gonna lose her voice or she wanted to kill me! And that day my mood was totally spoiled! I didnt had the mood to do anything , not even had to mood to work. My face was really shit and black that day but i know i was in the wrong. I'm not mad at her but just felt moody , actually thats very normal for people to felt moody after some scolding. And at that time i seriously felt like moving out to stay all by myself! Because i thought it would be better for me and my family & the house wouldnt be so messy. I know it isnt easy staying alone outside but maybe it will make me more independent and maybe I willl start saving money. I know I have been spending alot but this is not what I wish to do too. I'm trying to save some money but I just cant!! I always felt like shopping after I got my pay. Seriously why do I have this bad habit?! I know I got to change(: Ywannn , I'm damn tired but just cant get to bed! Something just hurt my feeling really badly that i cant go to sleep. I didnt know my sister hate me alot. I know i'm always disturbing her , scolding her and always treating her bad! But she's always not saying anything. And today I just relised although she's always not saying anything but in her heart she hate me like FUCK! I know I was in the wrong to alway shout & scold her but I just couldnt control my temper. And sometimes you wouldnt know how annoying she is , sometimes i couldnt stand her! She even spreed around telling all her friends how bad I am and I'm always scolding her. Is like must she tell all her friends? There's nothing got to do with her friends. Okay I just did something really wrong , I was doing my nails two nights ago and I used glue to paste my fake nails onto my real nails to make it look more longer and at the same time I was viewing a video on how to do the nails. I didnt know the glue wasnt dye yet and I went to touched my sister laptop mouse and this is how the glue went onto it , I try using water to clean it off but it couldnt work! I didnt know what to do so I just leave it there, And today morning my sister woke me up and asked me what have I done to her mouse?! Yes , I did told a lie by saying I didnt know what had happened & it was already there when I use it. Okay that was all a lie , I didnt want my mom to scold me again thats why I told a lie! But in the end they know im the one who did it & my sister started saying hurting things behind my back. She's asking my mom to scold me again. Actually I didnt know about it till i read her text msg to my mom! I know it was wrong to do it but I just got this feeling that I got to read it. So I went to take her phone and read her text , and this is what she wrote to my mom. SISTER: Mummy! Yesterday she use my laptop until my mouse there got super glue!!!! Argh DAMN her! Mummy: (I dont know what she replied because the text was deleted) and the next day morning my sister asked me what had happened to her mouse , I know I told a lie but look what she told my mom, SISTER: Mummy you know what she tell me? She say she dont know what is that when she use already like that! Like pls lah! I use laptop my hand got glue meh? And even if I eat and use it will be sticky but can clean OFF! DAMN her! She thought I blind cant see what she doing yesterday arh?! Anw then like that how to make a lie to scold her? Mummy: (Dont know what she said) SISTER: HAIZ YOU TOT I DONT WANT?! I REALLY WANT TO WAKE HER UP NOW AND FUCK HER BUT I CANT DO IT COS NO MATTER WHAT SHE IS OLDER THAN ME.... Mummy: (Not sure what my mom told her to do) but this is what she said , SISTER: OK! Even if I off and keep she still will take! So its no diff! I keep then dont tell her where she will angry and whole day black face I dont want like that then I so hard to face her everday.... And its like I cant stand later she give black face then if I want to ask her or borrow smth she would just ask me shut up , our relationship already so bad dont want to make it worse. Mummy: (Dont know what she replied) but this is what my sister replied, SISTER: Ok! Thx ya thats why I want to faster move house! I cant stand with her! Feel like screaming at her but i cant ...... HAIZ!! YES , maybe i was in the wrong but must she say me till like this? this text msg really hurt me like fuck...... But what to do? This is what I always do to her and now this is how she treat me in return. I got nothing to say All I can say is I already trying to change , trying not to always scold her! And when she need some help , I will try to help her. Like her drawing , I put in so much effect to draw but in the end this is what she said about me. Thats why Im trying to saving money to move out!! This is one of the reason why I wanna move out. I dont want my own Sister to dislike me, because I know no matter how irratating she is or how hard I scolded her , I will never dislike her because she's my own sister. But didnt expected she hated me like fuck and shes always putting on a mask! I rather she tell me stright to my face that she hated me den to talk behind my back. Every msg that she send to my mom really hurt me alot , I dont know why. It makes me cant sleep !! I always thought without my friends or bf to love me , I still got my family to love me! but in the end I just relised everyone hated me): They are all just putting a mask on , they are just forcing themself to love and care about me. I know im always taking too much of my parents things .... like money , love, care , ect... And I know im taking things for granted!!! But I never know sometimes they dislike me too , they even hate me! HAIZ maybe they even regretted giving birth to such a useless and stupid daughter that cant even study or earn her own money! Im not sure if they think that way but I felt useless myself too ....... sometimes I always asked myself , why am I still living in this world? why is god always taking all the clever and good people away? why cant god just take me aways? the useless , stupid and weak gal! Please god , just take me aways! I dont want my family to feel sad and regret that they got me around .... I dont want them to always stress over me!!! So Please just take me aways and everyone would be happy , maybe I would be happy too:) with Love , DavinaKoh |
DavinaKoh♥
I'm 20 this year
A typical Aquarius who is very Progressive, original, humanitarian, independent.
-Happiness/successful/Money/Love
Travelling/Shopping/Chilling/Earning Money/Love ________________________________
A blog is for one to express out my thoughts, opinions...
This is my blog, i have the right to blog whatever i want.
If you dont like it, just dont read my blog , thanks!
PS: all things mentioned in my blog are my personal comments
ShoutMix chat widget May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 June 2010 December 2010 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011
angeline angela ♥♥ bennyLau chong yang(ccy) chong yong Claudia SIS ♥♥♥♥ casandra sweetie ♥♥♥♥ CASANDRA&RON celeste chen Elson Soh Geraldine Cousin♥♥♥♥ ignasia bestie♥♥ JiaYi Jean ♥♥ JunioR Melissa dearest♥♥♥ marcus jeow shangjiejie teddybear ♥ samuel cousin♥♥♥ suetping ♥ wei liang SUKI ♥♥ XiaXue YI Xin sweetie ♥♥♥ Yujing Cutie ♥♥ |